Being friends on Facebook Inc may prove not so good for a couple, and could hurt the relationship, says a New York-based psychotherapist. Facebook is used by both Kerner, a counselor, and his wife. After Kerner ‘unfriended’ his wife, his married life got so much better that he is now telling his clients do the same, says a report from Today.com.
Facebook takes away ‘unknowingness’
“I realized for a little while with my own wife that I didn’t really want her to be my friend on Facebook,” Kerner told Public Radio International.
Kerner said he did not want any extra information that her wife used to post on Facebook such as being tired or how many coffees she had in a day. He wanted less info, and more of mystery and randomness. So, he chose to unfriend her on Facebook Inc , and advises the same to other couples.
Kerner believes ‘unknowingness’ acts as an asset when it comes to relationships. He added that the couples should make less use of devices as it has the potential to change the texture of a chat as has been shown by several studies in the past.
A 2014 study by the Pew Research Center, found that of the 25% polled adults in a long-term relationship said the mobile phones used to distract their partners when they spend time together. Further, 8% of the adults argued over the time spent online. The same numbers for the respondents in the age group 18-29 are much higher at 42% and 18% respectively.
Facebook deepens the bond
While Kerner may believe unfriending could be the best option, a separate study of college-aged couples suggest Facebook Inc deepens the bond between the couples. It has been observed that a commitment between a couple rises due to “Self-presentational” cues.
Those are actions on Facebook that signal a couple is together, for example, relationship status, tagging and sharing photos, commenting on the wall and status updates increases the chances of a couple being together after six months, says the study.
However, the focus of the study, which was published in July, was on the longevity of a relationship, and not on its health or perceived success. There was no way for the researchers to know whether the health or success of a relationship was positive or negative as they didn’t have access to the content shared on Facebook.